Vulnerability in Creativity
Recently, I created an Instagram and Facebook page for this practice (go check ‘em out 😉). And earlier this year, I started being consistent(ish) to this blog page. It has been nerve-wrecking, anxiety-inducing, and really pulling on my vulnerability!
“The definition of vulnerability is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. But vulnerability is not weakness; it's our most accurate measure of courage.” - Brené Brown
I’ve been reflecting on vulnerability involved in the creative process: the vulnerability in creating something and fearing it’s “good enough”; the risk of putting it out into the world to be critiqued; and the fear of shame when comparing your work to others. Being creative can bring up mixed feelings of anxiety, fear, passion, inadequacy, excitement, shame, etc.
If we struggle with the process of vulnerability, it may even dysregulate us enough to enter fight, flight, or freeze. For example, the creative process for me, personally, elicits a freeze response often. It typically looks like an idea I struggle to execute, or a start but no finish, or I don’t create anything for fear of “not getting it right.”
This can look different in fight or flight responses and for each individual. For example, if we enter “fight,” we might destroy our work in a fit of rage or bicker and pick fights with people around us from the agitation we feel. In “flight” mode, we might completely avoid or abandon our work. If we are unaware of our bodies entering dysregulation, we might miss these cues and our creative work suffers. Overtime, we begin feeling disappointment in ourselves for not being able to express how we’d like.
Expressing ourselves creatively and then putting it out into the world brings uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. It is a vulnerable process, and for some, we feel it more deeply. I experience it too, and it’s something I often hear from clients. But working through that vulnerability to get to the other side and push ourselves to those creative and expressive parts is indescribably satisfying. It is the satisfaction of stepping back and saying, “I did that.”
For me, I try to remember there are two kinds of vulnerability. There is vulnerability that is thrust upon you, without choice—like being a brown woman in a room full of white men executives about to give a presentation. There is vulnerability in the power imbalance and dynamics. But there is also the vulnerability we choose: like telling a friend I’ve known for a few weeks that I struggle with anxiety. We choose that kind of vulnerability (still risky and uncertain) but in service of (hopefully) deepening our relationships. Or within creativity, we can choose to be vulnerable and share our work with the hopes that someone will say, “wow, that was helpful for me” or “that’s beautiful” or “that really impacted me.” And sometimes it lands, and sometimes it doesn’t—that’s the risk.
What’s your process on pushing through vulnerability to create?
